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Regional, Monthly All-Breed Horse Magazine • Since 1993
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Regional, Monthly All-Breed Horse Magazine
Distributed throughout the Greater Rockies Since 1993

 

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Copyright 2010 Rocky Mountain Rider. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Reproduction of any editorial material, artwork and photos is strictly forbidden without express written permission of the publisher. For information about reprint rights, please contact the editor; editor@rockymountainrider.com.

 

Educated Cowboy

By Harold Roy Miller, Stagecoach, NV

 

November 2010 Issue  

The new hand Lyle had a Master’s Degree

in science, English and trigonometry.

But we figured he was just an educated nerd

and wouldn’t know nothin’ about working a herd.

 

We were settin our horses, discussing the price of beef,

when Lyle rode up and said he was the night relief.

He pointed to some steers on the grassy hill

and started to converse with my partner Bill.

 

Now what the dude was saying didn’t make much sense

but I didn’t want to show myself dense,

so I kept quiet; I knew ignorance was bliss,

but their conversation went something like this:

 

Lyle: “Those nigrescent bovines certainly have gramnivorous ways.”

Bill: “Naw, them’s just Black Angus and they like to graze.”

Lyle: “Are there any carnivorous feline predators here?”

Bill: “Nope, but every now and then a cougar’ll pull down a steer.”

 

Lyle: “Should I muffle my vocal tones to hedge off the jitters?”

Bill: “Naw, too many loud sounds might spook the critters.”

Lyle: “Should I attempt to orate a melodious sound?”

Bill: “no, but sometimes singing keeps ‘em settled down.”

 

Lyle: “Those westerly cumulonimbus are a needed drought cure.”

Bill: “I don’t know about that, but them dark clouds yonder mean it’s gonna rain fer sure.”

Lyle: “Should I use that populus fremonti as a shelter from a sudden downpour?”

Bill: “No, that’s what we use that old cottonwood over there for.”

 

This talk went on for five minutes or so,

then Bill decided it was time for us to go.

Lyle had finally quit talking, which at this point seemed wise,

‘cuz Bill was biting his lip and rolling his eyes.

 

As we rode away, Bill scratched his head

and I had to laugh at what he said.

“That young college feller, he sure likes to prattle,

but he don’t know diddly about ranching or cattle.”

 

Copyright 2010 Rocky Mountain Rider. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Reproduction of any editorial material, artwork and photos is strictly forbidden without express written permission of the publisher. For information about reprint rights, please contact the editor; editor@rockymountainrider.com.

 

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